My 500-word “Spend Valentine’s Day with Dru Hill in Atlantic City” essay.

Dear Dru Hill,

Hello, my name is Joe Mande. Let me start by saying that I don’t normally address my essays “to” a specific person or party. But, then again, this no ordinary essay now is it? I am writing you (Omarion, Jazz, Tao, and Nokio (especially Nokio!)) to formally enter myself into the first “Spend Valentine’s Day with Dru Hill in Atlantic City” contest. According to the rules stipulated on your Internet .jpeg poster, contestants must enter before February 11th by either a.) uploading a video onto YouTube, or, b.) writing a 500-word essay, expounding on “why Dru Hill should choose YOU [me] to be their special guest at the House of Blues in Atlantic City, NJ on February 14, 2011.” As a self-described essayist, I believe it’s only right (or should I say write (no homo-phone*)) that I enter this contest using my command of the English language.

Now, to be quite honest, I could go on for days pronouncing my love for Dru Hill, undoubtedly the best R&B group to ever emerge from the Baltimore scene in the 1990’s. Alas, I am limited to five hundred words to make my case. Just five hundred measly words. Those are the rules.

Well, I’ve always had one rule when it comes to rules: I follow them**.Though, on the outside, these rules appear to be harsh and unfair (especially when you consider that no such rules of limitation seem to be placed on the uploaded video entries made by contestants using YouTube (unless, of course, you consider YouTube’s own built-in length limit of 10 minutes)), these are the rules I, a writer, must respect.

I assume, since this is an official contest, that Dru Hill, or whomever manages Dru Hill’s legal issues, has hired the services of an accounting firm, or at least some kind of coalition of public notaries, to monitor and record the word count for all submitted essays. My own essay being but one sheet in a towering stack of 8.5”x11” papers.

One thing I’ve always admired about Dru Hill is how they consistently give their fans options. I’ve seen similar “Valentine’s Day in Atlantic City” contests held by other R&B groups from the 90’s (I’m looking at you, Az Yet), and there only ever seems to be one form of entry. You [me] can enter with a YouTube video or a 500-word written essay, but never both. This contest, however, gives fans of Dru Hill (and who out there can honestly say that he or she isn’t a fan of Dru Hill?) the liberty to decide between two very different and powerful forms of expression: oral and literary.

According to my word count software, I’m already at 488 words (when including footnotes.)

In conclusion, please make me your Atlantic City Valentine.

Sincerely,

Joe Mande

* = A homophone is not a gay telephone, but rather what you call two or more words that have the same pronunciation but different meanings and/or spelling.

** = Rules.