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Saturday, 19 April :: Link

“My Jewish lawyers have advised me to say that I do not support, nor would I ever actually fund, a cum assault on any sitting US Senator. These comments were said in jest and should not be taken seriously. Please do not fling anything, even cum, at Ted Cruz’s face. Thank u”
— Last night, readers of the conservative garbage heap known as Twitchy.com got very butthurt over a tweet I wrote about flinging cum on Sen. Ted Cruz’s face. So here’s the response I crafted with the help of my Jewish lawyers.


Mon. May 19 :: Riveride Theater w/ Aziz Ansari :: Milwaukee, WI :: 7:00pm & 9:30pm :: Tickets

Tue. May 20 :: Overture Center w/ Aziz Ansari :: Madison, WI :: 7:00pm & 10:00pm :: Tickets

Wed. May 21 :: Chicago Theater w/ Aziz Ansari:: Chicago, IL :: 7:00pm & 10:00pm :: Tickets

Thur. May 22 :: Chicago Theater w/ Aziz Ansari:: Chicago, IL :: 7:00pm & 10:00pm :: Tickets

Fri. July 25 :: Bitchface :: Underworld :: Montreal, QC :: 10:30pm :: Tickets






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