Joe Mande

New obsession: Early 90's Wendy's training videos

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 15:53:00 -0400

Videogum.com posted this video earlier today. It’s called “Hot Drinks.” It was for Wendy’s employees in the 90’s to learn how to pour hot drinks. It’s also possibly the greatest song ever.

There’s another video to teach employees how to serve cold drinks. It’s called “Cold Drinks.” Unfortunately, it pales in comparison to “Hot Drinks.”

What’s a little confusing is the song entitled, “Got to Serve the Drinks.” It’s not so much an instructional video, as it is an anthem describing the morale expected of Wendy’s drink servers. (If one is looking for more information about the ins and outs of serving drinks, whether they be hot or cold, one should consult the two other videos, “Hot Drinks” and “Cold Drinks.”)

Finally, there is the masterpiece that is “Chili Can Be Served With Cheese.” This song (which one could argue is even better than “Hot Drinks”) not only describes how chili can be served with cheese, but also goes over the intricacies of serving milk and cookies to customers as well. Unbelievable.

Dave Thomas was basically the Quincy Jones of fast food.

A lot of funny stuff is going to go down at tonight’s...

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 10:32:00 -0400

A lot of funny stuff is going to go down at tonight’s Totally JK. You might as well reserve your tickets now: http://bit.ly/9MQBd6

Seriously, don’t do it, Bill. She’s only into black...

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 21:51:00 -0400

Seriously, don’t do it, Bill. She’s only into black dudes. Kelsey Grammer made the same mistake.

I concur this concurrence. Everyone in LA should see this show....

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 18:36:47 -0400

I concur this concurrence. Everyone in LA should see this show. I’m pissed that I’ll miss it.

paulscheer:

I concur. Curtis is an Amazing Storyteller! Do yourself a favor and see this you dummy!

brettgelman:

Everyone must go see Curtis Gwinn’s show. The man is a genius and tells the best stories I’ve ever heard. Truly one of a kind.

The New Yorker book blog recaps my Glenn Beck screenplay reading.

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 15:46:53 -0400

The New Yorker book blog recaps my Glenn Beck screenplay reading.

BRILLIANT MARKETING CAMPAIGN: Boxer Chad Dawson makes use of...

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 09:50:00 -0400

BRILLIANT MARKETING CAMPAIGN: Boxer Chad Dawson makes use of valuable advertising space (his butt hole area) to promote CondomDepot.com.

Louise DuArt. 24 minutes of pure WTF. (Personal fav:...

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 14:46:00 -0400

Louise DuArt. 24 minutes of pure WTF.

(Personal fav: “’…CUZ I’M TWEETY!”)

Glenn Beck was nice enough to introduce my show last night.

Thu, 12 Aug 2010 21:45:00 -0400

Glenn Beck was nice enough to introduce my show last night.

This is happening tonight.

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 12:24:17 -0400

This is happening tonight.

Chris alpha. purns: Well this is wonderful. Please watch this...

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 10:46:01 -0400

Chris alpha.

purns:

Well this is wonderful. Please watch this bit of ridiculous.
Discovering a TV Star: The incredible true story of how Adam McKay and Will Ferrell discovered Chris Gethard

Big Lake premieres on Comedy Central August 17th at 10pm.

You had me at “Sport Utility...

Thu, 05 Aug 2010 15:01:06 -0400

You had me at “Sport Utility Vehicle.”

paulscheer:

Do Hate Terrorists? and Love Kicking Ass? Yes! Then this show is for you.

Check out out the NEW & LONGER trailer for NTSF: SD: SUV

w/ Rob Riggle, June Diane Raphael, and Brandon Johnson

Directed by Eric Appel

The Celtics are going to dominate the Senior NBA next...

Wed, 04 Aug 2010 17:16:15 -0400

The Celtics are going to dominate the Senior NBA next year.

thedailywhat:

So This Just Happened of the Day: Confirmed: Shaquille O’Neal signs with Celts.

[celtics.]

Seriously cannot wait for season two.

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 10:44:58 -0400

Seriously cannot wait for season two.

Also, this: Interesting! And so timely! gabrieldelahaye: Man,...

Fri, 30 Jul 2010 12:34:19 -0400

Also, this:

Interesting! And so timely!

gabrieldelahaye:

Man, the news is just KILLING IT today!

The wonderful Kristen Schaal on Letterman last night.

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:32:32 -0400

The wonderful Kristen Schaal on Letterman last night.

"Yesterday I was hiking a mountain in Hawaii with a friend…I got to one peak and I thought..."

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 12:39:00 -0400

““Yesterday I was hiking a mountain in Hawaii with a friend…I got to one peak and I thought ‘I’m here, great, we can rest now’ only to realize that just because I was at the top of one peak, that didn’t mean I had arrived. There were more…more valleys to go through and more heights to reach. It was interesting to me, that in order to go higher, we usually had to go down through a valley, and it went on and on and up and up. I was tired and wanted to sit down but my friend said, ‘Come on, let’s go a little higher.’ So, not to be outdone by a girl (lol), I dug my hiking boots in and went a little higher.””

- An excerpt from an insane mass email (entitled “Stay in the Climb!”) sent out yesterday by Tyler Perry (aka Mr. Really Good at Twitter).

I’m going to be appearing (not the right word) on a live...

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 09:20:15 -0400

I’m going to be appearing (not the right word) on a live taping of Marc Maron’s WTF podcast this Wednesday night at Comix Comedy Club.

You can get tickets here. And if you don’t already listen to the WTF podcast, what’s wrong with you? You better start right now.

THIS JUST IN: Joe Mande will be playing me in the BRETT GELMAN STORY.

Sat, 17 Jul 2010 19:21:02 -0400

THIS JUST IN: Joe Mande will be playing me in the BRETT GELMAN STORY. :

#JoeMande4Gelmania

(via brettgelman)

Wow. I can’t believe this. Just got off the phone with my...

Fri, 09 Jul 2010 15:27:38 -0400

Wow. I can’t believe this. Just got off the phone with my boy David Remnick. He gave me some very good news.

I don’t know how many people know this, but back in April I decided to take a three month break from the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest. (To give other people a chance, LOL!) And in my first week back on the job, I WIN AGAIN!

I want to thank everyone for all their support.

Chris Bosh is a Na’Vi woman.

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 18:14:00 -0400

Chris Bosh is a Na’Vi woman.