Wednesday, 23 April
Tuesday, 22 April
Anonymous asked: would you rather eat at Ray BBQ (Friday Night Lights) or Freddy's BBQ Joint (House of Cards)?
Freddy’s went bankrupt. So I guess Ray’s by default.
Monday, 21 April
Anonymous asked: If I order Bitchface will you autograph it?
Yeah sure why not
Saturday, 19 April
“My Jewish lawyers have advised me to say that I do not support, nor would I ever actually fund, a cum assault on any sitting US Senator. These comments were said in jest and should not be taken seriously. Please do not fling anything, even cum, at Ted Cruz’s face. Thank u”
Thursday, 17 April
Wednesday, 16 April
Anonymous asked: Do birds fuck? Or does the male bird just jizz all over the eggs after the female has laid them?
Great question, anonymous. I wish I had an answer for you. I feel like your best move is to ask that question to the people at http://birdfuck.tumblr.com/, which is a real website somehow
Saturday, 12 April
Anonymous asked: Your Nick Cannon memes are NOT funny. They're stereotypical and distasteful.
Yeah, I know. They’re direct quotes from his stand up, idiot.
Friday, 11 April